The Onion's 5 Tips to Succeed as a Woman in the Office
If your male coworker is outwardly hostile to you, placate him by making him a sandwich!
... A knuckle sandwich...
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‘I quit that job about 3 months later’: Mechanic is left alone after coworkers walk out on an overbooked post‑Thanksgiving Saturday, grinds through the chaos, gets praised with a fast-food gift card by management
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Boss tries to push construction engineer to apply for demotion to lower-level lower-pay position when their contract ends, claiming he’s not invested enough: ‘I don't live for my projects. And I don't see how that's a bad thing’
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Management forced employee to stick to 8:00-16:00 "core hours” and pre-approved OT, she complies, proving that her new schedule harms work-flow and production: 'Flexibility would no longer be available'
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20+ Thanksgiving dinners you'll be thankful you're not eating: 'Cooked a Thanksgiving meal... and no one ate it'
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Warehouse manager follows an out-of-touch boss' new corporate-approved protocol, brings the shift to a halt because the head honcho doesn't understand logistics: 'Soon we have a whole row of pallets stuck'
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